Here Today, Gone Today

It's been over a month since we've seen either of the boys. Too long for this Mom. So on Wednesday I asked Mr. Man if he felt like a roadtrip to Cinci on Saturday to visit #2. We both agreed that it was just what we needed, & thinking about it helped the week go by a lot faster. Since #2 is in art school, visits always depend on how much work he has to do over the weekend. This doesn't bother me because #2 has not always been one to plan ahead, so his long term planning actually gives me a small thrill! I texted him on Thurs to run our plan by him & he said that he was actually going to surprise us with a visit home this weekend. It is his GF's birthday & they were coming home to celebrate with her family. Even better! We would get to see him for longer than an afternoon visit in Cinci! That was a good thing because Friday I ended up being so sick that I couldn't get out of the bed. Today is a little better, but 4 hours in the car while sniffling & sneezing would not be fun, especially for poor Mr. Man. #2 & GF were supposed to arrive around noon on Sat & they were right on time. It was so good to hug my long haired, artist boy, with the heart of gold and his GF, who we adore! We caught up on all things college-classes, roommates, changes in the school administration & future outlook, as well as the apartment search for next year. I really could've just sat there & stared at him. A million memories flashed through my head. How could this be my little boy who used to carry around a candy fundraising box as his briefcase, filled with a drawing pad & assorted colored pencils & markers? Now he talks about his aesthetic as an artist and how stoked he is about his summer internship. When did he stop being my little boy and become this poised, interesting, young MAN?!

I have come to the realization that he will probably never "live" at home again, that he will just come for brief "visits" when he has "time." I am thrilled and heartbroken at the same time. We want him to be independent and motivated to have a career, and he is! But couldn't he "need" us just a little bit? Every once in awhile he will ask my advice & my heart just about bursts. I feel like that's what I was made to do...nurture my boys, & it is hard to not be able to do that on a daily basis. I know, I know....the nurturing I did for the past 20 years has turned them into the wonderful, young men they are today. It's just that I've got more nurturing in me. Friends tell me that that is why grandchildren are so wonderful. I guess I'll have to wait & save it all up until then.

So back to today. #2 said that they'd have to leave soon because the GF's family dinner had to be early because her parents had plans for the evening, & that he and GF would be babysitting for her nephew during the evening. I love to hear #2 talk about the nephew, how "he is the coolest kid I've ever met. I love that guy!" But then it hit me. He is leaving now & he won't be back. We had less than 2 hours with him. That is not fair! GF has to be back to work in Cinci at 10AM tomorrow, so they will have to leave early, so he'll just sleep on the couch at GF's parents' house so they can get an early start. I want to cry & yell like a spoiled toddler having a tantrum, "Noooooo, he's mine!" But I guess that's it, he's not just ours anymore-he has a girlfriend, a life away from us. So I stood in the window, hugging Mr. Man, holding back the tears, waving goodbye to my baby as he drove away.